


And it's been a while (but I still feel the same)

by anncshirley



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Family Fluff, Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-04-06 05:32:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19056208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anncshirley/pseuds/anncshirley
Summary: "I always pictured you still fighting and training new recruits. I imagined us going hunting in the woods. Trying to improve the lives of the small folk together”She smiled softly.“That's a pretty picture” she murmured.He smiled at her, his eyes full of hope and love.“Then don't you want to try and paint it together? It's not too late”Six years have passed since the Great War and Arya makes her way back to King's Landing to celebrate Bran's first six years of peaceful reign.In the capital, among other things, she has to face a certain lover she's never truly been able to forget.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter of what's probably going to be a two-parts fic!
> 
> This is the first GOT fic I post so I feel suuper nervous but I hope you enjoy!
> 
> English is not my first language so please be kind!
> 
> Love xoxo

Six years of peace. Six like the kingdoms her brother Bran had been ruling over since the Dragon Queen's death.

And apparently the new King thought it would be poetic to celebrate these six years of rule.

Arya shook her head putting the envelope on the table, smirking a bit. Bran had been so dramatic ever since becoming the Three Eyed Raven.

She quickly dressed herself and went up on deck, where her men were working on cleaning the ship after a bad wind.

"My loyal men" she said, making them all turn to her.

In a second, her Right Hand, Edric, was standing beside her. She smiled, he was always by her side at the right moment, she didn't even need to call him.

"My brother, King Brandon, is going to celebrate the first six years of peace of the Six Kingdoms. Will you come with me to the Capital?" she asked loudly.

It was a stupid question, she knew it. Her men would follow her to the edge of the earth. And they had indeed.

In fact, they all shouted happily, signaling they would stand behind her.

"You could ask them to drown themselves and they would say yes. They love you" Ed whispered, close to her.

She turned and smirked "That's because I'm an awesome captain" she said, walking away.

"Aye, you are" he agreed, following her.

"Does it bother _you_ though?" she asked "I know King's Landing is not exactly your favorite place after what happened"

His parents had been among the people burned alive by Daenerys' fire. Luckily, at least his brother and sister hadn't been in the capital that day.

She studied his face as he lowered his gaze. He was handsome, deep green eyes and fair hair and skin.

Arya had caught herself looking at him for too long way too many times, but he didn't seem to mind.

She suspected he might have been attracted to her, but she had never really given him any reason to push his luck.

For how handsome she might have found him or for how deeply she trusted him with her life, her mind still wandered to a certain Lord of the Stormlands way too often.

It wouldn't be fair to Ed. She cared about him too much.

"No, captain" he said with a weak smile "It's been six years. And hopefully I will get to see my brother and sister while we're there"

She nodded, not pushing the topic farther.

 

* * *

 

The city didn't smell like piss anymore.

It was finally clean, she could feel the scent of flowers and fresh fish coming from the market.

She smiled. Her brother was indeed doing a great job.

People bowed to her as she walked in the streets, and she felt slightly uneasy.

She heard some whisper " _Princess_ " and it hit her that technically she was a member of the royal family.

She grimaced, she could barely stand being called _Lady_ , let alone **Princess**.

The gates of the Red Keep were open, surprisingly, and there in the courtyard was a huge statue of Ned and Catelyn Stark.

She smiled proudly looking at the direwolf banners draped on the walls.

She made her way in the Keep, Ed loyally following behind her.

She wandered for a while, silently, and Ed was respectful enough not to say anything himself.

It was lunch time and most of the alleys were empty.

She let her hand trace the walls. Those walls that had watched her take her first steps in sword fighting.

If she closed her eyes she could almost hear Syrio's laughter as she failed catching her sword. Her father's loud applause as she finally made it after a few tries.

It made her eyes fill with tears.

"Arya!" she heard a familiar voice exclaim.

She looked up. Up on the stairs was Sansa.

She looked even more beautiful than the last time she had seen her, three years before. Her hair was up in an intricate bun, a few curls framing her face.

She felt her chest heavy with happiness. She bolted up the stairs and threw herself into her open arms.

Sansa always smelled good. She buried her face into the crook of her neck, gripping her tightly.

Sansa chuckled as she drew away after some time, looking at her.

"You've grown out your hair" she observed, caressing her braid "And you wear it just like mother" she said with a nostalgic tone.

Arya nodded, smiling.

"Your Grace"

Ed approached them and bowed to Sansa, who smiled at him "Ser Cassell, it is a pleasure to meet you once again" she said "I hope my sister didn't bother you too much in these last three years"

Arya glared at her but Ed laughed "No, Your Grace. Not at all"

"Would you mind if I borrowed her for a while?"

"Of course not"

Arya turned to him "Will you be joining us for the feast tonight?" she asked him.

He nodded, smiling up at her "I will, captain" He bowed again and disappeared.

She felt Sansa's gaze on her and shoved at her "What?"

Her sister tried to hide a mischievous smile "Nothing"

 

* * *

 

"Will Jon be here?" Arya asked, leaning on the doorway, wrapped in her towel after a cool bath.

Sansa looked up from her needlework and made a face "Cover yourself, Arya" she admonished her "There is plenty of men here in the Keep"

Arya raised a brow at her, closing the door and taking a seat on the bed next to her sister "You forget I travel with a crew made mostly of men" she reminded her.

"You forget this is not your ship, but the capital of the Six Kingdoms, full of Lords and Knights" Sansa snapped back.

She scoffed.

"Anyway, yes" Sansa said "Jon is expected to arrive tonight. Bran saw it"

Arya felt like laughing at the last part.

She would never get used to it. During the past six years of travelling, her brother had been watching her and everytime she reached a new port, she would find letters from him, but mostly from Sansa. That's how they kept in touch while apart.

"Any news about the state of his exile?" she asked.

Sansa stopped working and sighed.

Arya knew she felt partly responsible for what had happened to their brother.

"Those loyal to Daenerys like Yara Greyjoy want him to stay in the North for at least four more years" she said "Bran said that after ten years have passed, he will be a free man again. And he's King now so it's like anyone could object"

Arya beamed "Thank the gods"

Sansa stood up and crossed the room, filling two cups of wine.

Arya arched an eyebrow at her, skeptical.

" _Wine_?" she asked "At two in the afternoon?"

Her sister scoffed "This city is draining me" she said offering her a cup.

"Someone bothering you?" Arya questioned.

She saw Sansa's eyes darken "Apparently the most frequent question these days is _Why hasn't the Queen gotten married yet_?"

Arya said nothing. She knew her sister wanted to marry for love after all the things that had happened to her.

She also knew that the only one who had meant something to her was Theon, and it would probably be a while before she could finally find someone to love again.

"I could swing by these cunts and casually threaten them" she offered, sipping her wine.

Sansa smiled and that made it worth it.

"What about you anyway?"

"What about me what?" Arya asked.

Sansa was grinning, an eyebrow raised "Ser Cassell seems to fancy you"

Arya was caught off guard by her sister's observation and she averted her gaze.

"He's just a very trusted friend. And the best co-captain I could hope for"

"Nothing more?"

"Nothing more"

"You ever thought about love?"

Arya felt a knot in her stomach "I have"

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the nervous tap of her fingers on the glass.

"Does this have anything to do with a certain Lord of Storm's End?"

Arya felt like chocking on her wine. She whipped her head to Sansa, unable to hide her surprise.

Her sister was watching her attentively.

"How-?"

"He told me"

Arya scoffed " _He_ told _you_? Why in the seven hells would he do that?"

Sansa bit her lip "It might have been partly my fault" she admitted "After you left again three years ago there was a feast at Riverrun. It was night when I found him drunk in the courtyard and he started blabbering about how much he loved you and missed you and how you broke his heart" she shrugged "The next morning I asked for an explanation"

"He had no right" Arya hissed between her teeth.

"Don't be so hard on him" Sansa said "He was reluctant but I pushed him. And we found some solace in each other because we both missed you very much"

Arya didn't know what to say.

Stupid bullheaded bastard.

What was he thinking? Getting drunk and spilling the beans to her _sister_ of all people?

"How is he managing?" she finally asked.

All those years she so badly wanted to ask her siblings how the Lord of the Stormlands was doing but in their eyes she had no reason to be curious about him, and she didn't want to raise any suspects.

She could feel Sansa's eyes on her .

"He's doing fine" she said, getting up and gathering her needlework "He'll be at the feast, so you'll be able to meet him and see for yourself"

Arya wanted to ask if he had wed, but she was afraid of the answer she could get.

A part of her hoped he hadn't found a new lover, but at the same time she hoped he had, and that she was gentle and kind enough to make him forget how badly Arya had treated him.

"I'll send some clean clothes up here" Sansa's voice made her snap out of her thoughts "Rest a bit, I'll see you at the feast tonight"

She closed the door behind her and Arya let herself fall on the soft mattress.

She closed her eyes, hoping to get some rest before the night, but sleep didn't find her.

 

* * *

 

After chatting with Jon in his room briefly after his arrival, Arya was much less annoyed at the idea of taking part in the feast.

The room was lively, Lords and Ladies laughing together in front of big cups of wine.

She wished she could be that happy but her mind was elsewhere.

She scanned the room, looking for him, but he was nowhere to be seen.

On her side Jon and Sansa were talking quietly, barely noticing she'd drifted off with her thoughts.

"Captain, are you alright?" she heard Ed whisper in her ear. She froze for a moment.

Turning, she found his face close to hers "Yes, thank you, Ed. Just have a lot on my mind"

Thankfully, Ed didn't push her. He knew by then when to ask further and when to stay silent.

It was then that she noticed a figure making his way into the room. Arya's heart stopped for a moment. 

The last time she'd been to Westeros for a quick visit, three years before, she hadn't seen him. So the last time she's seen him was their tearful goodbye right before she'd sailed away to the other side of the world.

Her eyes stinged at the memory of that night. Of their last moments together.

Gendry caught sight of her but didn't look surprised. He probably knew or expected her to be there.

He walked towards Bran and kneeled. Then he went to hug Jon tightly and kissed Sansa's hand, making small talk with them.

Arya turned away, hoping he wouldn't acknowledge her.

She didn't know if she could find the strength to look him in the eye.

And instead, after a couple minutes, there he was in front of her.

"Your Highness" he said, bowing to her.

"Don't you _dare_ " she said instinctively.

She felt like biting her tongue immediately after. They didn't have the same intimacy anymore so who was she to talk to him like that?

But Gendry, surprisingly, chuckled, raising his eyes to hers.

"I knew you would hate it" he simply said.

Arya couldn't help it, she felt a smile spread across her face.

She looked at him. He was handsome like he'd always been, maybe even more. His hair had grown, just like his beard, making his deep blue eyes stand out even more.

He was studying her face too, and she didn't miss the way his eyes lingered a bit longer on her lips.

She suddenly felt like the young girl she used to be and wanted to lower her face under his gaze.

He sighed "Gods, you look even more beautiful than the day you left" he whispered softly.

She felt like stumbling hearing his words. They were so sudden but so sincere and heartfelt.

She bit her lip, unable to say anything.

Then a light cough interrupted their little moment.

She widened her eyes, remembering Ed standing right behind her.

She cleared her throat, trying to compose herself and gestured for him to move forward "Lord Baratheon, this is my Hand and co-captain, Ser Edric Cassell"

Ed offered his hand "My Lord"

She watched Gendry. His brows were furrowed together as he shook it and his smile was clearly not sincere, she could see it.

"You have guts to follow her" Gendry joked "I'm sure she's hard to handle"

Arya glared at him and Ed laughed "Sometimes" he admitted "But she's the best captain I could ask for"

He looked down at her with a little smile and Arya looked away, feeling Gendry's scowl.

The air suddenly felt heavy. She needed to get away.

"If you'll excuse me" she said, standing up.

Gendry said nothing but Ed took a step towards her "Do you need anything, cap?"

She shook her head, placing a reassuring hand on his arm "No, thank you, Ed. I just need some fresh air"

 

* * *

 

 She didn't know how, but she found herself in a hidden spot in the gardens.

It was dark and quiet, the sea was sparkling under the moon rays and Arya felt at peace listening to the familiar sound of the waves.

Her head was spinning, a milion thoughts clouding her judgement and her heart heavy with a feeling she didn't want to name.

 _You look even more beautiful than the day you left_.

How could he possibly say something like that as if it was nothing?

As if the last time they'd seen each other hadn't been full of tears, goodbye kisses and half promises whispered in the dark.

As if she couldn't still remember the way he held her close under the sheets as if he never wanted to let go.

His pained expression as he slept when she silently slipped out of the room the morning after, holding the staff he'd fixed for her to her chest.

She felt like screaming but she was afraid someone would hear her.

“Deep down you really _are_ my sister” a familiar voice said from behind her.

She whipped around, gripping Needle's handle.

Jon came out of the trees, a little smile on his face “You know this is also my favourite place to come and brood whenever I'm visiting Bran and Sansa” he said, sitting next to her.

“I wasn't brooding” Arya deadpanned.

“Yes, you were” he simply said, as a matter of fact.

She wanted to glare at him, argue with him, but it was no use. He knew her better than anyone else in the world.

Jon didn't say anything, he just stood there, slowly stroking her hair, and for a moment, she felt calm, leaning into his reassuring touch.

“Why isn't he married?” she finally worked the courage to ask.

She didn't need to say who she was talking about. She knew that after venturing beyond the Wall together, Jon and Gendry had become pretty good friends.

So if _Sansa_ knew about the two of them, there was no way Jon didn't as well.

Jon was silent, but he shifted a little, stopping his movement on her hair.

“Arya-” he started.

“Don't start saying bullshit” she warned him “You know I can instantly tell when people are lying. And he didn't bring any lady with him so it's pretty clear he's not married”

He sighed.

“I know Ser Davos has tried many times to talk him into marrying but he doesn't seem to be insterested in the least” he finally said “Many Lords have brought their daughters to him from what I know, but he has politely denied them all”

Arya felt like punching something “That idiot” she hissed.

She could feel Jon watching her.

“I told him not to wait for me” she said, her voice low “I told him he couldn't live his life waiting for me while I didn't know if I would ever come back for good myself”

“I don't think he's necessarily been waiting for you” Jon said, probably trying to calm her down “But he's been raised as a bastard, surely being forced into marrying some random girl doesn't come so easy to him. Especially not when there's still someone in his heart”

Arya looked at her brother. He was watching her with a sad expression.

“You tried to make him change his mind?” she asked.

Jon shrugged “I did. Last time I was here. I care about him and I know you're a wild spirit. I knew what you needed to do. I thought telling him to let go was the best way to help him”

“But he didn't”

“I think he's trying, in his own way. But from what I've heard his sentries still have the order to keep their eyes fixed on the orizon and watch out for a lone royal ship”

Arya felt tears pool in her eyes.

Stupid bull. He was so stupid.

She'd  told him not to wait for her.

Jon touched her elbow “Give him time” he said softly “It took me quite some time to get over my first love”

Arya didn't know if she truly wanted him to completely get over her.

She wanted what was best for him, she wanted him to have the family he'd always desired, children. And she knew she couldn't give those things to him.

But at the same time she wanted him to hold onto his love for her for as long as possible.

She was such a selfish spoiled little girl.

“Sometimes I feel like I did everything wrong” she admitted “Like I made all the wrong choices. Becoming an assassin, even if it was to avenge our family. I took such a dark path and now it's taking me so long to let go of that past for good. I thought getting away, leaving our family, exploring the world, was a good way to find myself again. But sometimes I find myself doubting it all”

“I believe you did the right thing” Jon said “For how much it pained me to think about you, Sansa and Bran all separated, I think you needed to forge your own path alone for a while. Nothing lasts forever, you can always come back”

She felt a shiver run up her spine.

Jon squeezed her hand and smiled down at her “In four years I'll be a free man again” he said “I'd love to be able to ride and spar a bit with my little sister again someday”

His smile felt so much like home and Arya threw her arms around his neck, holding onto him as if her life depended on it.

She buried her face in his chest and breathed heavily.

Without even realizing it, she started crying silently.

Jon said nothing, he simply held her close until she fell asleep in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and keep up for an update :3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure Gendrya, enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think ;)

The ladies loved him. That much was obvious.

Arya watched him chat easily with three of them who were clearly making doe eyes at him.

She felt the sting of jealousy seeing him so at ease with them when for years she was the only person who he opened up so much with.

He was smiling but his eyes were distant, an unreadable expression on his face.

Arya hated that she couldn't seem to figure out what was going through his mind anymore. She used to be able to read him so well once.

The music was loud and her cheeks were burning from the wine she'd had.

Ed touched her shoulder "Do you want to dance, captain?" he asked softly.

She looked at him. He was smiling tenderly at her and she returned the look.

"And why not?" she said standing up.

Beside her, Jon and Sansa snorted.

"You _dance_?" her sister asked, incredulous.

Arya quirked an eyebrow, smirking at her "I've learned a lot of things in the west lands" she said proudly.

She took Ed's hand and disappeared between the crowd, her siblings' soft laughs following her.

As Ed guided her to the dance floor she felt her legs tremble.

It was one thing dancing in foreign lands, where she was just an unconventional captain of a ship, dancing in the streets with the common folk, free from any title.

But here, surrounded by people who'd seen grow up, who knew her as the hero who'd killed the Night King, as the sister of the Queen in the North and the King of the Six Kingdoms, it was a whole different thing.

She could feel many eyes on her – also probably because she was wearing a dress, uncommon thing for her.

“Don't think about them” Ed whispered, pulling her to him “Pretend we're in Braavos”

She smiled. He knew just how little she fit in that society and in all those stupid social norms.

They danced like they did when they had no other care except when to set sail again, and she could feel people watching her as she twirled and laughed.

The moment was broken when the music slowed down and she heard a cough behind her.

She turned in Ed's arms, facing a familiar pair of blue eyes.

“I didn't take you for a dancer” Gendry said, grinning.

Arya swallowed.

She wanted to slap that damn grin off his face. When had he become so cocky?

“I learned a great deal of things while in the West” she deadpanned.

He nodded and looked at Ed “Ser Cassell do you mind if I borrow your captain for a dance?” he asked.

Ed's hand tightened on her arm for a second and then he let go. Arya felt bad for him.

“Of course not, M'Lord” he said, bowing.

He looked at her with a torn expression “Have a nice dance, cap” he said, and with that he was gone.

Arya stood there for a moment, her back to Gendry.

She couldn't look at him just yet.

“Are you going to show me your new dance moves or are you just going to ignore me for the rest of the night?” he asked.

She turned around, facing him.

“What are you doing?”she hissed.

He frowned “What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean”

He looked around and in a swift move drew her close “You're causing a scene and everybody's staring” he murmured in her ear “Do you want to become the next topic for the gossip of the nobles?"

“Let them gossip” she said bitterly “I don't care about them”

Gendry laughed “Of course you don't”

Arya let herself fall in the slow rythm of the music, letting him pull her closer to his chest.

He smelled good, his clothes were new, the leather still shiny and all clean. His beard tickled her forehead.

For a moment she was once again the young girl on the run from the Lannisters.

She bit her lip, thinking of a time when things were simple between them. A time when he was the only one who knew about her real identity.

A time when loving him was easy, even if she couldn't exactly know it was love yet.

“You look beautiful” he whispered all of a sudden “But what's up with the dress? You _hate_ dresses”

She rolled her eyes “Sansa made me wear it”

He was silent at the mention of her sister's name.

For a moment she pondered asking him why he'd done it. But then she remembered how Sansa had said he was drunk and alone and bit her tongue before she could say anything.

“Why aren't you married?” she asked instead.

He took a step back, clearly surprised.

He blinked at her, shaking his head "What?"

She wanted to snap something bitter, to reprimand him, to shove at him and ask him how he could be so stupid but the words were stuck in her throat.

She could feel a knot forming in her stomach and tears pool in her eyes.

He was watching her with a sad expression and when he let go of her she felt like falling.

"Arya, I-"

"I can't" she managed to say before turning and sprinting out of the room, everyone's eyes on her.

 

* * *

 

 

Arya squinted her eyes in the dark of the little tower.

It was a well hidden spot of the Keep and she was quick, but Gendry had spent years on the run trying to keep up with her so she wasn't surprised when it didn't take him long to find her.

She sighed hearing his light footsteps on the stairs.

She closed her eyes and let him get closer, listening as he tried to slow down his breath from the run.

She kept her back to him, not having the courage to look at him.

"Arya" he called her softly.

She didn't respond.

"Arya" he repeated "Look at me, please"

She bit her lip, turning.

He was closer than she had expected and she drew in a sharp breath, gazing into those eyes full of pain and love.

 _Love_. Even after all those years, even after the way she'd treated him.

"Why?" she asked simply.

He shook his head, lowering her gaze.

"I pretty much used you back then"

She wanted him to hate her. To turn his back on her. To yell at her or be mad at her. Not this. She didn't deserve to be looked at in that way.

"I know" he said.

"I left you without even saying a proper goodbye"

"I know"

"You should hate me"

"I know"

"Then _why_?" she felt her voice crack, her head heavy.

He smiled, raising his eyes to hers "I just can't bring myself to hate you" he whispered.

Hot tears were streaming down her cheeks before she could stop them from spilling.

Gendry raised his hand to her face but she batted it away, wiping the tears away angrily.

"I told you not to wait for me" she hissed "I told you to move on"

He pursed his lips "Don't you think I tried?" he spat "I tried to move on, I tried to live my life as if you'd never come back into it. I wanted to hate you, everything would have been easier if I could. I even tried to sleep with other women but every time I stopped before anything could happen because it felt wrong if it wasn't you. Wherever I went your ghost would catch up with me"

Arya felt a pang in her chest at the mention of trying to be with other women.

She'd never even thought about being with someone else.

The night before the Battle of Winterfell she'd let her walls down, she'd let him see her completely bare, both physically and emotionally because it was _him_.

Because she trusted him with her life. Because she couldn't think of a better person to share that important part of her with.

And she'd never found someone she trusted as much again.

"Say something" he pleaded, taking her hands into his "I beg you"

Arya let him hold her hands, feeling his calluses from working so many years in the forge. His hands were warm, his grip steady.

In those six years she'd spent sleepless nights thinking about what she could possibly tell him if she ever saw him again.

There were so many things she wanted to say. So many things she _needed_ to say.

But all that came out of her mouth in that moment was a simple "Hold me"

Gendry blinked, clearly surprised and taken aback.

He looked at her for any sign of a trick, but she'd let her mask go many years before.

Slowly and uncertainly, he drew her close and circled her with his arms.

Arya let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, burying her face in his chest and gripping the back of his shirt tightly.

His embrace was soft and familiar.

It was cold nights in Harrenhal when he would scoop closer to her in her sleep to keep her warm. It was him holding her into place and preventing her from doing anything reckless that would most likely get her killed. It was the night they had made love for the first time. When after everything, he'd put his cloak on her and pulled her closer, his breath uneven and his eyes full of fascination she knew she didn't deserve.

"Arya" he murmured.

She drew back a little and looked at him.

"I love you too" she whispered "I'm sorry it took me six years to say it back. I'm sorry I didn't treat you the way you deserved to be treated back then. But I'm not sorry I left, I needed to do it"

"I know" he simply answered.

"I needed to find Arya Stark again. And I had to do it on my own"

He only nodded, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead on hers.

"Kiss me"

It almost sounded like a plea and Arya wanted to slap herself.

But before she could take it back Gendry was leaning down and their lips met halfway.

Arya sighed in the kiss, relieved and content like she hadn't been for a long time.

Her knees buckled and she felt like falling but Gendry was quick to tighten his grip on her, pinning her against the wall.

The kiss was slow and  Arya took his face in her hands, caressing the stubble on his cheeks.

She felt his arms tighten even more around her, pulling her as close as possible.

It was as if it had been barely a day since she'd last kissed him. They fit together perfectly, even after all that time.

"Gods, I missed you" Gendry whispered against her lips as they parted.

Arya smiled at him, playing with the hair on his forehead.

"Say it again" she said.

He looked giddy as he leaned down, trying to catch her lips again "What?"

She drew back, putting a hand on his chest "Say it" she repeated.

He blinked "Say what?"

"Tell me you love me" she murmured, suddenly feeling uncertain "If you still feel the same way"

Gendry almost looked offended that she would doubt his feelings.

He put his hands on both sides of her face and looked at her seriously "I can't imagine a day I won't love you, Arya Stark"

It was all she needed, and this time it was her who stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

This kiss was more urgent and deep, all the years spent apart suddenly crashing on both of them. 

Arya slipped her fingers inside his shirt and she felt goosebumps form on his skin.

"Still very sensitive" she smirked against his lips.

He grunted "Very funny"

She tilted her head "Say, what do you think if we moved to somewhere more _comfortable_?" she asked in a soft tone.

It took him a moment to process what she was suggesting.

When it hit him, his smile was bigger than she had ever seen it.

Scooping her up he planted a kiss on her lips.

Their laughs echoed through the walls of the tower as they rushed down the stairs.

 

* * *

 

 

Arya watched Gendry with a content smile, her chin on his bare chest.

He had his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted as his breath slowed down.

She traced the muscles on his chest, getting closer to him and hooking her leg between his.

"Like what you see?" he asked peeking one eye open.

She raised an eyebrow, grinning "Yes, very much indeed" she said, placing a kiss on his shoulder.

He hummed, his fingers going up and down her back.

"You sure you haven't been with any other woman in these years?" she asked "Because that thing you did before..."

Gendry laughed, opening his eyes and turning to her.

He tilted his head up and kissed her softly, removing messy bangs from her forehead.

"I'm pretty sure, yes"

She smiled.

"But what about you anyway?" he asked, letting her go.

He got up and crossed the room, filling two cups of wine.

"What?"

He sat next to her and gave her one.

"Haven't you been with anyone else?" he asked "Because that ser Cassell seems to fancy you a lot"

Arya almost spilled her wine.

She couldn't help but laugh, setting her glass aside.

"Really?" she asked "I'm naked in _your_ bed and you're seriously worrying about my co-captain?"

He shrugged, lying down next to her again "I don't know" he said "I'm sure it must get pretty lonely at sea sometimes and he's always by your side"

Arya could feel the jealousy dripping from his words.

She rolled on the mattress and lied on top of him.

He blinked up at her as she started playing with his hair.

"You're the only one I've ever been with, you stupid bull head" she said softly.

"Good"

He put his arms around her and kissed her.

When they parted, his eyes were clouded and she knew immediately what was coming.

"Arya" he started "We need to talk about it"

She shook her head, putting her finger on his lips to silence him "Not now. Tomorrow morning"

He sighed.

"I won't disappear again, I promise" she said "Just hold me for tonight"

And he did.

She fell asleep with his arms around her, lulled by the steady sound of his beating heart.

For the first time in six years, nightmares didn't her find her in the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep up for updates because there's going to be more!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, hope you all like it! xoxo

"You up for a stroll on the beach?"

Sansa looked up from her paperwork with a surprised expression.

She looked at her with squinted eyes, and Arya fidgeted nervously with the hem of her shirt.

"Are you troubled?" she asked.

"I might be" she admitted.

Sansa smiled, clearly happy that her sister had looked for her of all people and stood up.

"I'd love it"

 

* * *

 

 

Arya buried her feet in the sand, feeling the seashells underneath it.

"You were right" Sansa said "This _is_ relaxing"

It had taken about half an hour to convince her sister to discard her shoes and walk barefoot on the sand.

It wasn't exactly a Queen-like behavior and Sansa had looked slightly against the idea at first.

"I told you" she smirked, closing her eyes and breathing in the light breeze.

"So what's troubling you?" her sister asked all of a sudden.

Arya sighed. Reluctantly, she stood up, shielding her eyes from the sun.

Sansa wasn't watching her, probably trying to let her know that she wasn't going to pressure her.

"I slept with Gendry last night" she whispered.

There was silence and she glanced timidly at her sister, afraid of what her reaction might be.

Sansa was watching the sea, her blue eyes lost in thought.

“Was it good?”

Arya widened her eyes “W-what?”

Her sister simply turned to look at her “I asked, was it good?” she said.

“That's not exactly the answer I thought I would get” Arya said in a low tone.

Sansa shrugged “I figured something happened when you run away from the feast with him at your heels. And then this morning you were nowhere to be found”

Arya blushed.

She knew their behavior wasn't appropriate. They weren't married. He was Lord and she was a Lady. Princess, to be fair.

She'd expected her sister to be mad and scold her, tell her she should behave differently. But apparently Sansa had given up trying to make her respect the social norms.

“Why is this troubling you?”

Arya bit her lip.

“I don't know what to do now” she admitted “I thought I could sail off again but I don't want to leave him again. I made this mistake once, I can't do it again”

“Then don't leave” Sansa deadpanned.

Arya glared at her.

“It's not that simple” she muttered.

“ _Yes, it is_ ”

Her sister stood up and looked at her seriously.

Arya felt like averting her gaze under that stern look that reminded her so much of that of their Mother.

“Arya, you make everything difficult even when it's not” she said “What is the problem? Clearly you must feel something for him or you wouldn't be here, so there must be something else”

“I can't have children” she blurted out.

Sansa blinked, gaping “W-what?”

“I want to be with him but I can't give him what he needs. I could never be a Lady and I could never provide him with a heir”

“Who told you?”

“A Maester” she said, lowering her gaze “I came looking for a Great Measter I'd heard about when we visited the Citadel. Back in Braavos, I went against the rules of the Faceless Men and they wanted me dead for disobeying. I was stabbed in the stomach. Multiple times. I barely survived”

She took a deep breath “The Maester said I can never bear children”

Sansa had a sad expression.

“You never know” she said after a brief moment of silence “The Maesters are not omniscient and it might be possible that the wounds didn't do that much damage”

Arya shook her head “It's a small chance. And I wouldn't want him to waste his one shot with a woman who can't give him any certainty”

“I think that's up to him to decide”

“What?”

“You've decided for the both of you up until now” Sansa said “Have you tried asking him what _he_ thinks?”

“He would say he doesn't care because he's stupid like that” she snapped “And maybe he doesn't _now_ , but someday I know he will”

Sansa sighed.

She closed her eyes and laid down on the sand. Stretching her arm out, she took her hand and squeezed it gently.

“Just talk to him” she simply said.

Arya let out a breath and laid down next to her.

“I'll think about it”

 

* * *

 

 

The city was quiet.

It was vacation day and everyone had their day off.

Therefore Arya found the forge empty.

She heard the clank of metal in the distance and made her way inside. She found him hammering an anvil, hard, almost angrily.

“They were right, you _are_ here” she said.

Gendry looked up and his eyes widened. He put down the hammer and wiped his hands on the apron.

He took a step forward and looked at her, not saying anything.

“Your men told me you still go to the forge when you're troubled” she said, her voice small.

He simply nodded and walked forward until he was standing right in front of her.

“You told me you wouldn't disappear again” he said, staring down at her “But this morning you were gone”

“I'm sorry” she whispered, lowering her gaze “Bad habit. I tend to run from things when I'm scared”

“No, _you don't_. You and I both know you fight your fears. Am I that scary?”

Arya bit her lip, her gaze still on the ground.

She placed a hand on his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat.

“You are”

He laughed bitterly.

“I'm tired of your little game, Arya” he muttered “I love you and I never tried to hide it, but I won't stand by and let you treat me like this another time”

Arya felt like crying.

“I'm sorry” she sobbed.

“I don't want to hear your apologies another time. I want an explanation, you at least owe me that”

“I know”

“You said you loved me last night” his voice broke “Was it a lie?”

“No, of course it wasn't”

“Then you could at least look me in the eyes and tell me what the problem is once and for all”

It took all her courage to look up at him.

His expression was was hard and grim, but his eyes betrayed the pain she knew he was feeling.

“It wasn't a lie” she repeated “I do love you. And it's scary because everyone I love gets taken away from me. _You_ were taken away from me once as well”

He rolled his eyes “The war is over, Arya” he scoffed.

“It's not _for me_!” she shrieked.

Gendry blinked, surprised and maybe scared.

Arya took a step back. She hadn't meant to yell but the words were rolling off her tongue before she could stop them.

“Arya, I-”

She held up a hand, silencing him, and he stopped, a frown forming on his brows.

“When you were taken away, I took a dark path” she said “My mother and brother died. I thought all of my family had died. I didn't know where to go or what to do so I did what was easier: I started holding onto revenge. I traveled to Braavos and started training with the Faceless Men but in order to do so I had to give up everything that made me Arya Stark. I did horrible things, things you can't even imagine. I was too deep down the path of darkness and I had to get away for a while. I'm starting to heal, slowly, but the war is far from over inside me”

He looked at her with a sad expression “I know you did bad things” he whispered “I saw your scars”

“You don't know how I got them”

“You could tell me”

She shook her head “You wouldn't look at me in the same way”

He closed his eyes and breathed in, his hands coming up to grip her elbows.

“I know I would still love you” he said “And if you really love me too, I don't understand how things still manage to be so complicated between us”

“I can't give you what you need” she said “You need a Lady and I'm not one, you always knew it. I wouldn't be able to stand in your shadow, wearing pretty dresses and knitting by the fire”

Gendry sighed heavily “ _You_ are all I need” he said “And I would never ask you to be any of those things, I know who you are. I didn't fall in love with you for nothing, I fell for you _because_ you are none of those things”

Arya felt her cheeks go up in flames. Even after years, hearing he loved her made her feel like a little girl.

“I should have known the mere word _Lady_ would trigger something in you, but I would never want you to be a conventional lady. I always pictured you still fighting and training new recruits. I imagined us going hunting in the woods. Trying to improve the lives of the small folk together”

She smiled softly.

“That's a pretty picture” she murmured.

He smiled at her, his eyes full of hope and love.

“Then don't you want to try and paint it together? It's not too late”

Her smile faded then.

She reached and took his hands, holding them tightly.

“That's not all” she said, looking at their entwined fngers “I wouldn't be able to give you children”

“W-what? Why do you say that?” Gendry asked.

She bit her lip “I was stabbed back in Braavos, multiple times. One of Maesters of the Citadel said it'll be almost impossible for me to have children”

Then there was silence. A long and agonizing silence.

Arya couldn't find the courage to look at him.

“I don't care” he said after a while.

She wanted to slap him. _Stupid_. She knew it.

“Maybe you don't care _now_ ” she said, raising a hand to his face “But one day, you'll want laughter in your courtyard, someone who looks after you when you grow old, someone you can pass Storm's End onto”

He shook his head “Maybe you didn't hear me before. You are all I need and want. Nothing else”

“I can't let you waste your life on someone who's broken and can't give you what you always wanted. You told me yourself, back in that cave when I asked you to come with me. You said you wanted to stay with the Brotherhood because they were like brothers and you never had a family”

She closed her eyes, trying to hold back tears.

“You deserve someone who can give you a family of your own. And I'm not that someone”

Gendry took her face in his hands, leaning his forehead on hers.

Arya let her nose brush against his, breathing in the scent of the fire.

“ _You_ are my family, Arya” he whispered “You always have been. The only reason I rejected you back then was because I didn't think I was worthy enough”

“You were always more than worthy to me” she sobbed, tears now streaming down her face.

He smiled softly at her, kissing her cheek.

“Timing was never on our side was it?”

“I guess not” she agreed.

She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a light kiss on the lips.

“ _Stay_ ” he murmured against her mouth “I told you before, none of this matters if you're not with me”

Arya gripped the fabric of his vest, feeling her legs shake.

“What if one day you change your mind?” she asked “What if one day you want children?”

“If the Seven are good, we'll be able to have them. If not, then so be it. I would rather spend the rest of my days with you and you only than with anybody else who can give me children”

She smiled.

“I guess I'll have to talk to my crew then”

Gendry smirked “Yes, you will”

 

* * *

 

 

Arya watched as her ship sailed away, a little knot in her stomach.

It had been hard to say goodbye to her crew. Even more so to say goodbye to Ed.

Despite everything, he had understood, or so it had seemed. He'd smiled at her and said he was happy she had found peace.

He'd hugged her tightly, promising to return with gifts and stories from foreign lands he was set on discovering.

And with that they were gone, leaving a tiny hole in her heart.

"Does it hurt to watch them go?"

She turned and found Sansa and Jon standing together a few feet away. She smiled, taking a step forward.

"A little bit" she admitted "But it was time to let go of my adventures. I have a reason to stay now"

They nodded, looking at each other.

"Will we hear about a marriage soon?" Jon asked with a little playful smile.

Arya rolled her eyes "Maybe. Or maybe not"

Jon chuckled, ruffling her hair like he used to do when she was little.

"The Lady of Storm's End" Sansa said "Who would have thought"

"I'm not going to be a conventional Lady"

"I had no doubt" her sister smiled warmly at her "I'll be looking forward to see the improvements you're going to bring to the Stormlands"

"What will you do about the heir?" Jon asked.

Arya bit her lip "We'll think about it when the right time comes" she said "For now, we need a little time to make up for all the years we've lost"

Seeing her clouded eyes, Sansa nudged her side "Are you okay?"

Arya looked up at them and suddenly felt her chest lighter than it had been in a long time.

She smiled.

"I am"

And for the first time in so long, she meant it.

 

* * *

 

 

"She's beautiful" Gendry's voice was softer than she'd ever heard it before as he cradled the little bundle in his arms.

Arya smiled, wiping her forehead with the the fresh cloth the handmaid handed her.

He looked up at her and gave her a bright smile. Then he reached out and pushed messy locks of hair out of her face.

He placed the baby in her arms and she cradled her close to her chest.

A small thing, a few black hairs already visible on her head, tiny puffy hands that kept opening and closing in a slow motion.

Arya felt her eyes fill with tears looking at her daughter.

If years before someone had told her she would one day have children of her own she would have laughed at them.

Her mother more than anyone probably wouldn't have believed it.

In that moment she wished more than ever before Lord Eddard and Lady Catelyn were by her side, watching how far she'd come.

"You did it" Gendry whispered putting an arm around her "Despite all you've been through you've managed to pull this one off as well"

She nodded, a smile on her lips as she recounted the moment the Maester had told her she wouldn't be able to bring children into the world.

"You're a real fighter"

She chuckled "Hope this one will take after me"

Gendry laughed "Oh, it'll be hard to handle two of you if she does"

There was a light knock and the handmaidens looked at her.

She nodded and one of them went to open it, revealing her siblings standing in the doorway.

Bran was cool as always, a calm smile on his face. Jon looked worn out by the wait and Sansa had tears in her eyes and a big smile on her face.

She was the first one who stepped forward, her hands clasped tightly in front of her, the tiara slightly crooked on her head.

Arya smiled at her.

"Do you want to hold her?" she asked.

Her sister's eyes were shining "Can I?"

"Of course, you can. She's your niece"

Gendry took the baby from her arms and gently placed her in Sansa's open arms.

"It's a nice name" Bran suddenly said.

Arya glared at her brother "Stop watching our every move" she complained.

"How are you going to call her?" Jon asked.

She looked at Sansa and bit her lip.

"She's going to be Catelyn"

Her sister's eyes filled with tears once again. She simply nodded knowingly, holding her gaze.

"They would be proud of you" she murmured, her voice a bit hoarse.

Arya let her head fall on Gendry's chest, her eyes closing. He stroked her hair and placed a kiss on her head.

"Thank you" she whispered against the crook of his neck.

"And what for?" he asked.

She looked up at him and smiled. His eyes looked tired from standing by her side all those hours and meeting all of her requests. His hair was messy from repeatedly running his hands through it in frustration.

"For everything" she said "For waiting all those years ago. For being patient while I was trying to get pregnant. For being you. I love you"

His smile was soft.

"No, thank _you_ " he whispered leaning his forehead on hers.

She closed her eyes, listening to his steady heartbeat.

She could hear Sansa and Jon talking softly to the baby and the handmaids walking around trying to tidy the room.

"Rest a bit" Gendry told her.

Arya felt her mouth pull into a smile.

She closed her eyes and let herself fall asleep lulled by the voices of her family.

She was finally at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Leave a comment if you'd like ;)
> 
> And make sure to check out my new Gendry fic!!


End file.
